


Life, Love and Faith

by Lisettola, SantoDiCostellazione



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Altar boy Yurio, Alternative Universe - Catholic, Believe us you will drown in sugar, Best Friends, Best Friends Reunion, Best Friends to Lovers, But Lot of Fluff, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Confession, Cute Kids, Demisexual Victor Nikiforov, Demisexuality, Dry Humping, Fake Wedding, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Making Out, Makkachin the support dog, Mild Angst, Priest Yakov, SO MUCH FLUFF, Seminarist Victor, VictUuri, Virgin Victor Nikiforov, Young Katsuki Yuuri, Young Victor Nikiforov, Yuuri is so Gay, chibi Victor, chibi Yuuri, church shenanigans, double pov, faith - Freeform, mild OC for the sake of the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-05-28 07:41:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19389574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisettola/pseuds/Lisettola, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SantoDiCostellazione/pseuds/SantoDiCostellazione
Summary: They would be together forever. They promised in front of an altar, God and Jesus and all their angels as witnesses."Stay close to me!" Yuuri said while running out of the church.“Always!” Viktor replied as they ran as fast as they could. His clover crown fell off his head and trailed behind them in their run.°*°*°*°Old childhood friends reconnect through the power of faith and discover life and love along the way.Follow the obstacles that one seminarian student and one youth leader must face when they have to choose between what they should do and what they want.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LeafVillageT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafVillageT/gifts).



> "We can try this plot, maybe." They said. "Just a quick 5k one shot." They said. "Probably we won't even post it." they said... And here we are after a 48h writing marathon, with this 16k monster that we are dividing in 3 chapters. It's completed so we are going to update once a week!  
> This work is for our lovely Tisha. We couldn't give you a real hug so we put together some of your favorite things. Like a Victuuri hug! lol  
> We love you loads, never forget it! <3
> 
> Thanks to Margs for the beta work! :)

“Duuuh dunnn duuh duuuuuh!” was sung through heart-shaped lips. “Duuuh dunnn duuh duuuuuh!” the tune echoed throughout the chapel.

A clover flower crown bounced atop silver hair as the young boy wearing it skipped past aisles of empty pews. When he approached the boy waiting for him at the end of the aisle his smile was so broad that he could not finish his song. 

The small Japanese boy fidgeted on the spot, blushing. 

"Vicchan! Be quiet they are gonna find out and we'll get in trouble." Yuuri said while looking around but then he smiled at his friend.

“But Yuusha, it would not be a wedding without music!” Viktor said before spinning around on his toes to show off his crown. His long silver hair flew out to the sides as he twirled. 

Yuuri giggled and said to Viktor, "You look so pretty…" and then blushed even harder at that.

Viktor’s cheeks went pink at the compliment as approached the altar. 

_ Three years earlier (victuuri apx 6 years old)  _

A little silver-haired boy sat in the corner of the room with his head tucked down between his legs. He didn't understand why none of the other kids in his bible school class wanted to play with him. He missed his friends back home in Russia and hated living in this stupid country. His mom said that moving to New York would be wonderful, but to Viktor, it definitely wasn't. 

Yuuri was playing hide and seek with his friends Yuuko and Takeshi, it was Yuko-chan’s turn to count and he should have been hiding somewhere, but he couldn't help but notice a small kid, sitting all alone in a corner of the room.

His face was hidden but his long silver hair hung loosely around his frame and it looked so soft…

The Japanese boy got closer to him and said a shy, "Hello," while blushing profusely.

Crystal blue eyes peeked out from behind pale knees at the small voice. A dark-haired boy was in front of him looking a bit bashful. “Hi,” Viktor said tentatively in return, still clutching his arms firmly about his legs. 

"You have very long hair." The boy stated not knowing what to say. "How did you get it this long? Even my friend Yuuko never had hair like this." 

Viktor cracked a small smile at the question. “I don't know. I like it long so I don’t let mama cut it.” 

"I like it too," Yuuri said smiling shyly. He sat on the floor next to the boy and added, "My name is Yuuri. You are new, right? Where are you from?" He could see that, like him and his friends, the boy didn't exactly look or sound like the other kids.

“Da-” the little boy shook his head, “Yes.” before continuing, “I came here from Rossiya, but I don't like it.” 

"Oh. I get it. I miss Japan too. But I only go for holidays now, to see Obachan and Ojiisan." 

“So you are not from here either?” Viktor’s grip on his legs loosened. “What is an oobachan and owisan?” 

Yuuri giggled at the mispronunciation. "O-ba-chan is my grandmother and O-jii-san is my grandfather." he explained calmly and continued "I was born in Japan, but when I was three we came here. We still visit sometimes."

Viktor’s eyes narrowed, thinking hard. “I think I know what you mean, about o-ba-chan and o-jii-san.” He pronounced carefully. “I don't know where Japan is,” Viktor said as tapped his fingers nervously on the ground. He was worried that the boy would go away, so he was trying really hard to speak correctly. The kids he had tried to talk with before made fun of him for not understanding. 

"It's very far from here. It takes fooooreeeever when we go," Yuuri said thinking hard how to explain where he came from. "I can show you where it is!" He then said getting up quickly and extending a hand to the other boy, to bring him to the map they had in the classroom.

Viktor reached out for the offered hand and was immediately taken with a feeling he could not describe. 

Before he could ponder on it much longer he was being pulled across the room to a colorful world map. 

"Soooo… The teacher said we are here," Yuuri said, pointing his little finger to more or less where he remembered New York to be. "Aaaand I…" he trailed his finger all the way to the other side of the map, until he found the southern end of Japan, "... was born all the way down here." 

“Wow!” Viktor’s eyes were wide looking at the map. 

After a moment Viktor continued, “We call that place Yaponiya. You were farther away then I was.” Viktor pointed towards St. Petersburg on the map. 

"We call Japan Nihon. And that is Roshia in Japanese…"

Viktor eyed the map inquisitively, looking at the English spelling for Russia, “Why are there so many names for the same places? It would be easy if we all called them the same.” 

Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s hand slightly and said near absentmindedly, “Maybe, I could go to Japan one day.” 

"Yes! You can come with me when I go, my family has an onsen there… it's like a bath. Warm bath. It's nice," Yuuri said with enthusiasm "And you can show me Russia…?" He asked timidly after.

“Da!” Viktor said excitedly at the suggestion. When he nodded in agreement his hair fell in front of his left eye. 

"Hey, you didn't tell me your name!" Yuuri giggled.

“Oh!” Viktor exclaimed. “My name is Viktor, Viktor Nikiforov,” he said, and with a turn of his neck, he flipped his hair out from in front of his eyes and smiled. 

"Viktorou," it didn't sound the same with his accent. "If we are friends now can I call you Vicchan?" He said testing the new name.

Viktor nodded blushing a bit at the cute name, “At home, we use nicknames a lot!” With his free hand, Viktor put his finger to his chin in thought, “I can call you Yuura. No… hmmm. Yuusha. Yes, Yuusha!” 

"Ok, Vicchan. We are friends now.” 

“Really?” Viktor asked. If so Yuuri would be his first official American friend, kind of. 

"Hai! I promise. Friends forever?" He let go of his hold on Viktor’s hand and held out his pinky to make that promise and waited for Viktor to join in.

Viktor looked at Yuuri’s hand questioningly and held up his adjacent hand with his pinky out like Yuuri’s. 

"No, Vicchan! You don't know pinky promise?" He asked smiling before going on to explain, "Is the best promise and you can't break it ever." 

“Pinky promise?” Viktor repeated. 

Yuuri gently brought down the hand his new friend was holding up and grasped the other before interlacing their small pinkies. "See? Like that, we promise to be friends forever."

“Friends forever with Yuusha!” Viktor exclaimed. He smiled with a big bright smile, displaying his heart-shaped lips. 

  
  


_ Present time (Viktuuri is 9 years old) _

Viktor reached out for Yuuri’s hands, like he had many times before when he reached the altar. The little Russian’s cheeks blushed, “This is it!” Then he nervously looked to the side, “What do we say again, to start the ceremony?” 

Yuuri was as well all flustered and it took a few seconds for him to talk.

"We are here today to celebrate the wedding? Or something like that?" He whispered to the other boy shyly.

“Oh, da!” Viktor cleared his throat and spoke in a deeper grown-up voice imitating the man who normally speaks for the services, “We are here today to celebrate the wedding of me, Vicchan, and you, Yuusha, because today we are getting married so we can be together and have a happy ever after.” Viktor lowered his voice and whispered to Yuuri, “Is that ok?” 

The Japanese giggled for the big voice and nodded tightening his hold on Viktor's hands. "Yes, Vicchan. Then I think they ask something like… do you promise to be forever married and take care of each other?" Yuuri looked up with his big brown eyes.

“Ok,” Viktor nodded seriously, “Yuusha, I promise to be forever married to you and take care of you.” 

"I promise that too, Vicchan. Of course…" Yuuri said smiling at the now taller boy.

“Now, before our witness,” Viktor nodded towards the crucifix, “We are officially husbands!” 

"Wait!" Yuuri said blushing again. "We need to put the rings on." 

Viktor looked confused. Rings would have been a good idea, lots of married people have them, but, “I don't have-”

Yuuri moved one of his hands and took out of his pocket a couple of tiny toy rings. They had a metal band and on top there were some fake, plastic, gems shaped like snowflakes. One was blue and the other was purple. 

Viktor’s eyes went wide with surprise. “How did you…” He trailed off, becoming speechless as Yuuri put the purple ring on his finger. It fit perfectly.

"I stole them from Mari. I will give her the money back later, not a problem." He grinned giving the blue one to Victor.

Viktor held it up and looked at it closely, “This is perfect.” he said breathlessly before putting it on Yuuri’s right ring finger.

“Now, we are officially husbands?” Viktor asked. 

Yuuri nodded and blushed but held his eyes up, looking in those beautiful blue eyes that his friend had. "Now what?" He asked smiling.

“At the end, the couple always kisses. You don't have to, but if you want to…” Viktor blushed, his cheeks redder than Yuuri had ever seen them before. 

"Oh… I-it's ok. If you want to. It's just a small kiss, yeah?" He said stuttering a little and dropping his eyes to the floor.

Viktor nodded. He had never done this before, but he had seen his mama and papa do it, so it could not be that hard. 

The little Russian reached for Yuuri’s face, tilting it up just so, so Yuuri would be looking at him rather than the floor. He took a deep breath and leaned forward until he could feel Yuuri’s lips against his own. 

Yuuri froze a little but then he as well pressed lightly on Viktor's soft lips to return the kiss. This was so strange, he never kissed anyone on the lips but since it was Viktor it was ok. Vicchan was his best friend in the world.

Viktor leaned back and licked his lips questioningly while trying to process how he felt about the kiss. 

Before he could really consider it he felt his body being suddenly lifted into the air. 

“Wooooh there! What are you kids doing?” a strange man asked as he plucked the little Russian out from in front of Yuuri and placed him down a foot or so away. 

Yuuri blushed and said in a small voice, "We are getting married." To the man that was now standing between them. He was unfamiliar but had on a church volunteer shirt. 

Viktor, who was not happy to have been picked up by this stranger, tried to push past him. “Yes! And you are interrupting our ceremony! Only me, Yuusha and Jesus were invited!” 

“Little boys can’t get married,” the volunteer said dryly and he put out his arm to keep the boys separated.

Viktor was really frustrated now, “Yes we can!” he said loudly, “Mama and Papa move places together because they are married, and I want to move with Yuusha so we had to get married before the eyes of God!”

The man looked like was about to start screaming at them so Yuuri decided that that was enough. He ran around the man, grasping Viktor's hand to drag him away quickly and laughing. He didn't care about one stupid man. Viktor was his husband now and he had to take care of him.

They would be together forever. They promised in front of an altar, God and Jesus and all their angels as witnesses.

"Stay close to me!" He said while running out of the church.

“Always!” Viktor replied as they ran as fast as they could. His clover crown fell off his head and trailed behind them in their run. 

_ 15 years later  _

Viktor woke up at his desk again, head resting on his well-used Bible, a little drool had gotten on to the pages. Viktor panicked and quickly got a tissue to dab the damp pages. The night before had been another long evening of study. His office chair had served as a bed more nights than he would like to admit to in the last few months, but it was nothing too surprising as he was a student of God, a seminarian, and the weeks counting down until he was ordained as a deacon were dwindling. 

It suddenly dawned on him that Father Yakov has scheduled an interview for a new Youth group teaching position today, an interview that he was expected to conduct. The ever forgetful Russian rushed to get ready, dawning his simple uniform and downing a cup of coffee as he sped out the door of his modest apartment. The moment he closed the door the silver-haired man spun on his heels and went back inside to see if his beloved dog, Makkachin, had enough food and water to last her until later on that day. After filling her bowls, he once again set off to the church for the interview. 

Yuuri was walking to the church, fixing his tie for the thousandth time. He had been lucky that his professor, Mr. Cialdini, had arranged this interview for him just a mere week after graduating. He decided years ago that he wanted to study for early childhood education to become a teacher and help other kids to have a good experience in church as he did all those years ago. Despite his excitement, he was incredibly nervous. Today was his first interview in this new city, he wanted that job so bad since hearing about the amazing work the people were doing at that particular church.

He arrived and was greeted by Father Feltsman quickly, and was told that since he had a previous engagement the interview was being held by someone else, a someone else that apparently was now late. He thought sitting nervously on a chair.

Viktor ran inside the back door at the church to be greeted by none other than Father Yakov’s displeased glare. “The interviewee has been here 10 minutes already. Vitya, you are going to be ordained in a month, you must be more responsible!” 

“Da, da,” Viktor said as he tried to regain a calm manner fit for the church as he walked by his preceptor. 

Viktor ran his hand through his pesky bangs before opening the door to the main chapel to find his interviewee. 

When Yuuri heard the door opening he jumped up to greet whoever was holding the interview. He took a deep breath and turned around just to find himself face to face with someone he never thought he would see again. He was sure he could recognize that face and those eyes anywhere, even if they now belonged to a full grown adult.  _ Viktor... _

_...Yuuri. _ Viktor froze in his steps. His delicate lips parted to say hello but the air wouldn’t leave his lungs. He could have been wrong, it had been so many years since their days together in bible school, but those dark hazel eyes were near unmistakable. The way the other man was staring at him was even more convincing. 

Yuuri didn't know what to say, he just kept staring at the man as if he was seeing a ghost. He opened and closed his mouth a few times to exhale shakily and said, "Your hair is so short now…" with a small knowing smile.

Viktor took a moment to register what Yuuri was talking about; the line took him back all those years ago and he vaguely remembered that the first thing Yuuri ever talked about was his hair. After spending much too long in his own head, Viktor finally smiled in return. Viktor’s over exhausted, caffeinated, mind was a mess. How could it be that Yuuri, his long lost best friend, was right here in front of him? The Russian began to laugh. It had been well over ten years since his family uprooted his life, again, and he had convinced himself that he would never see Yuuri again. “How... How is this possible?” Viktor asked and he held out his arms, feeling that the only proper way to greet his old friend would be with a hug. 

Yuuri wasn't a man that usually liked to be hugged, he was shy, anxious and reserved, but he didn't even hesitate to take a step towards Viktor and fall into his arms for a much-needed hug. All these years, all the tears that he cried as a child for losing his best friend suddenly were just a mere memory.

"I have no idea… but I'm so glad to see you." He mumbled into Viktor's shirt.

“This is a true blessing.” Viktor said, arms tightly wound around the smaller man, “Yuusha.” 

A loud cough of annoyance from behind cut through their moment of unexpected reunion. Viktor turned towards the doorway to see Yakov, looking monumentally more frustrated than before when he was only late. “What did I just tell you about professionalism, seminarian Nikiforov?”

Viktor let go of Yuuri and stood up straight towards Yakov. “I am sorry Father! It's just that I know Yuuri here, it's been years.” 

"I apologize, Father Feltsman. It's just been such an unexpected pleasant surprise," Yuuri said, bowing slightly to the two men. 

Viktor tried to distract himself from how adorable Yuuri’s bow was by looking back at his supervisor apologetically. 

The old man tsked towards the young men and walked off towards his office to go about his business. When his office door shut, Viktor let out an audible sigh of relief. 

Yuuri stood there awkwardly for a few seconds until he registered something from the earlier conversation.

"So… seminarian? Are you getting ordained?" He asked curiously. It was indeed a surprise, he never would have imagined that Victor wanted to become a Priest.

Viktor nodded with a smile, “Yes, let's sit down and I can tell you about it. It is a nice day outside, do you want to sit out there, Yuusha? It's ok to still call you that, yes?” Viktor asked as he started towards the door. 

"Of course it is… Vicchan. I promised didn't I?" He said blushing but smiling broadly, while following the man outside.

Viktor felt giddy all over, he could not stop himself from smiling. He had not felt this way… well since he and Yuuri used to spend their days together back in New York. 

There was an old picnic bench by a willow tree just outside the church that Viktor would often eat lunch at. He led Yuuri there and dusted off the few odd twigs that had fallen on the seat. 

Once seated Viktor nearly forgot that this was technically an interview and that he was supposed to conduct himself in a professional manner because he was quite content with just staring into the other man's eyes. In the sun, one could see the little flecks of gold around the irises of Yuuri’s eyes. 

Yuuri took in all that he could, Viktor was obviously changed, he was an adult now, but he could still clearly see parts of the child he used to spend his days with. He didn't really know how to act now, because this was still an interview… but all the professionalism had been thrown out of the window by the hug they shared.

"Well… You still have to give me my interview don't you?" the amused Japanese man said.

Viktor pondered for a moment before answering, “Yes! But only because I want to know everything about you and what has happened in your life since the old days,” Viktor said with a smile, “Then I will beg you to accept the position because working here with you would be, it would be like a dream come true.” 

Yuuri blushed and laughed "Well it's not really fair to other possible candidates, is it?"

Viktor shook his head with conviction, “No, it's perfectly fair. God sent you here for a reason, I feel it in my heart.” 

"Well, I have to at least make a good impression, it would make me feel slightly better." He said smiling. "But I agree. I honestly thought you would remain in Russia and I wouldn't see you again… this is too incredible to be just a mere coincidence. You know I almost didn't come? I was so afraid of leaving my family. But even if we're now adults and it's been so long since we saw each other… knowing you’re around makes me feel better about my choice."

Viktor couldn't help but blush. “Then it was truly God’s will for us to meet again.” Viktor crossed his fingers together and rested his chin upon his hands. He felt a strange but familiar urge to hold Yuuri’s hand. The feeling was strange in that he never wanted to hold anyone else's hand, but familiar because the pair had always held hands before, and his heart told him it should be no different now. 

"So…" he said to distract himself on how beautiful his friend looked. "What would my future employer like to know about me?" He said jokingly.

Viktor smiled, “As I said, everything!” after giggling, Viktor tried to maintain some seriousness to the interview, “but let's start out with why you are interested in leading the youth program.” 

Viktor looked around himself, only his Bible beside him, “Shoot, Yakov handed me a copy of your resume…” Viktor flipped through the pages of his book hoping that he had folded the document and put in between the pages. 

"Oh, I have one!" He said looking in his briefcase and handing it to Viktor. "Well throughout high school I volunteered with Yuuko at our church, to help the teachers with children… It was hard work but I loved spending time with them and making sure they had an experience as good as we had." He smiled remembering those days.

Viktor put a hand to his heart. What a parallel story they were sharing, no wonder why they ended up meeting. “How is Yuuko?” the Russian asked out of impulse. Yuuri was always his best friend, but Yuuko and that other boy were always around. Viktor recalled his mother hosting their families over at his house a few times. 

"She is great! I'll tell you something you won't believe, " he smirked and said "She and Takeshi are married now. They married right after high school, and now have triplets!"

“Triplets?” Viktor asked in confirmation, putting his hands to his mouth in awe, “Wow!” 

"Well, they are amazing. Three terrors, but I love them," he said laughing.

“Bless their hearts, dearly,” Viktor said with a tender smile. He couldn't imagine having triplets. He loved children but going home to a quiet house to recharge was definitely necessary for his sanity. “Well more about the program, I am glad you have the experience, because, as you may know, our youth program here is just starting out. I, with the help of Yakov and the other folks at the ministry, helped get the groundwork in order. Starting this program is a part of my requirements for becoming ordained.” 

"I will be glad to help as much as I can Vicchan," Yuuri said smiling and looking right at him to try and read him. It was unexpected but he could see him doing that. "You'll do great, I am sure."

“How flattering, Yuusha,” Viktor said. “Did...” He seemed to be unable to keep his heart from fluttering every time Yuuri complimented him, he tried to swallow it down and proceed with the interview. “Did you go to college in New York?” Viktor shook his head for the stupid question and focused on the resume in front of him, “Ah, sorry it says that here.” 

"I did. I wasn't really feeling like leaving my family." He said in a shrug. "I met Professor Cialdini and he was a great teacher and mentor for me. So I didn't regret staying… But now it's time for a change." He added thoughtfully.

“Family doing well?” Viktor asked, there was so much to catch up on personally that focusing on the interview questions he studied was difficult. 

"They are all good, Mari is still there to help okasan with the restaurant. They'll be fine without me." 

Viktor fiddled with the edge of the resume paper and smiled bashfully, “Sorry, I am not very good at this, it’s my first interview.” 

Yuuri smiled and said "That's ok. I'm glad we can catch up. Please tell me about you!"

Viktor put down the paper to look at Yuuri more directly, he had truly grown into a handsome man. His cheeks more angular, his shoulders broader, Viktor really had to focus on the question and not the contour of Yuuri’s neck and the way his Adam's apple moved when he swallowed. 

Viktor crossed his fingers once again, “Well the grocery store that my parents owned didn't do as well as they had expected it to in New York, so we moved back to Russia, as you know. But we didn't move back to the town I was from originally. I…” Viktor broke eye contact for a moment and said, “I didn’t have many friends, so I focused really hard on school. I graduated top of my class and got a scholarship for my theology degree here in Detroit. I graduated early and went to seminary school.” The Russian shrugged suddenly feeling a little nervous sharing his story with his old friend, he had never been so open and honest with someone other than God in years. 

"That's great! You always were the best in school, even when we were kids. And how long until you get ordained?" Yuuri said listening intently, wanting to know everything he missed out in his friend's life.

“I’ll be eligible to be ordained as a deacon in about a month, then, six months after that I would be eligible to become a priest. It is earlier than most, but since I have been so involved with the church and I got my degree early, I was able to meet the requirements quickly,” Viktor explained, “I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school, and the years I spent in the church, with you, were some of my best so that's why I continued being involved and ended up here,” Viktor added with a smile, “Kind of like you.” 

"Well, I’m not sure I would make a good priest." Yuuri said smiling, "talking to kids is one thing, but a whole church… I would get too nervous." 

_ And I couldn't handle the celibacy, to be honest _ , he thought to himself.

Viktor thought that talking to a crowd was easy, but for some reason talking to Yuuri wasn't. It was, but it was almost too easy, and that was what was making it difficult. “I am helping with mass on Sunday if you want to come.” 

"Of course I'll be there! Then, if you aren’t too busy after we could grab something to eat?" Yuuri asked hoping To be able to spend some more time with Viktor.

“That sounds lovely,” Viktor said with a smile. The silver-haired man rubbed his cheeks for a moment, “Sorry, I have not smiled this much in a long time, my cheeks are tired!” he said with laughter. 

"That's a shame, you should always smile, you have such a beautiful one," Yuuri blurted out without realizing what he was saying until it was already too late. He blushed and stared at his shoes intently.  _ What the hell, Yuuri. _

Viktor blushed immediately for the comment but continued to smile, “Thank you, your compliments are a blessing.” Viktor twiddled his thumbs while he thought of more questions to ask the other man. 

They ended up talking about their experiences in high school and college, they talked about pets, and they talked about hobbies which was a quick conversation on Viktor's part because his world was mostly studying. However, Yuuri did seem impressed when Viktor shared said that most of his free time was spent at the gym. The day went on and they never ran out of things to say. 

At one point one of the new altar boys came to see why it was taking Viktor so long in his interview. 

A blond boy approached them with a grumpy face.

"Hey, old man! What is taking you so long?" He growled at Viktor.

“Ahh, Yura, how lovely to see you!” Viktor responded cheerily. “Yuusha, this is Yura, a new altar boy.” 

"Yeah well, we need you so quit wasting our time and come back inside." He said not giving Yuuri a chance to talk, before stomping back in the church.

Viktor waved him off before turning back to Yuuri, “He is helping us out, not by choice, but I think we are making good progress with him.” Viktor sighed and added after seeing Yuuri expression, “He is harmless, all bark but no bite.” 

"Well, he has a point though… It's late, I better not waste your time anymore." Yuuri said looking at his phone. "I should call Phichit in a bit anyway." He mumbled looking at his unread messages.

“Phichit... a boyfriend?” Viktor asked as he got up from the bench hoping that the question was conveyed as casually as he intended. 

Yuuri blushed profusely "No! I mean he was but… not anymore, not for a long time. He's one of my closest friends. Nothing more." He said almost in one breath.

The rushed answer did not go unnoticed by the Russian but he continued, “You have a girlfriend then?” 

"Mmmm… no, definitely not," he said bashfully. The Japanese man couldn't see himself with a girl. He rarely saw himself with anyone, to be honest, but the few relationships he had were all men.

_ Maybe, in another life, _ the silver-haired man thought with an absent-minded smile, “I didn't mean for the questions to get so personal, I just truly meant it when I said I want to know everything about you.” 

"I want the same, Vicchan. I won't keep secrets from you. I never did," he said loosening his tie and grabbing his briefcase.

“Well, you officially got the job!” Viktor exclaimed, while rapidly changing the subject. "If you plan on coming to mass on Sunday, I can have a schedule drawn up for you by then.”

"I'll definitely be there." Yuuri smiled and waved goodbye, "I'll see you on Sunday!" He then started walking away.

“Yuusha!” Viktor called as the Japanese man was almost to his car. 

"Yeah?" Yuuri said stopping and turning around.

“I am so happy you are here!” Viktor yelled, waving at the man with a broad smile. 

"Me too, Vicchan!" He shouted back smiling brightly. And he really was.

When the church door shut behind him, Viktor collapsed against it and let out a breath of air he didn't know he was holding. Seeing Yuuri for the first time in years had made so many unfamiliar feelings stir inside him, he didn’t know how to cope. 

“Fucking dweeb,” Yuri muttered as he saw Viktor's dramatic entrance. 

The words took Viktor back to reality, “Language, Yura!” 


	2. Chapter 2

The few days that led to the Sunday seemed almost never-ending for Yuuri. He was in a new city, he didn't know anyone except for Viktor, who was probably busy at his church and he didn't feel like disturbing his old friend before their appointment.

When the morning arrived that day he dressed himself up nicely, for mass he tried to convince himself, and arrived at the chapel 15 minutes before the start of the service.

He sat where he was sure he wouldn't get in the way of anyone but could clearly see the altar.

The church was already full by the time he spotted Viktor, a handful of minutes before the start of the service, all dressed up in a cassock and unfairly gorgeous. 

He really didn't want to think that, he couldn't afford to go there, but his mind had a will of his own and couldn't avoid noticing how handsome his friend had become. 

Viktor’s eyes scanned the crowd for the one person he had hoped to see the most. When blue eyes met with brown, Viktor could not help himself from smiling. He waved discreetly from under his robes before the organ music began. 

During the service, Yuuri couldn't tear his eyes away and when the Russian man stepped on the pulpit he was basically mesmerized by the movements of his lips and his voice.

He had to stop. 

Viktor was getting fairly good at his job, helping with readings as much as he could, but today instead of talking to the crowd, he was aware he was talking to one man in particular. When he lifted his eyes from the words in his Bible, Yuuri’s were the first his met. Yakov allowed some leniency with his part of the mass, so he was able to pick his own readings, and today all of his choices were not so ironically about the value of friendship. 

After the service concluded, his feedback from the spectators was more positive than it ever had been, and he believed it was because of the life that Yuuri’s presence had instilled in him. 

The Japanese man waited patiently for the man sitting on the pews, he watched again, how Viktor was already well known and loved by the community and how lots of people wanted to talk to him after mass.

He felt a little guilty for his definitely impure thoughts, his friend was about to pledge his life to God and faith and he couldn't even keep it in his pants.

Finally, after the last of the congregation had departed the silver-haired man was able to turn his attention to his honored guest. 

The collared shirt and trousers he had on today were much better than the odd colored tie he had on for the interview.  _ Thank heavens _ , Viktor thought. 

“Yuusha! I was so pleased to see you in the pews today.” 

"It was a really nice service, Vicchan. I was glad to be there for it," he said smiling at his friend.

Yuri let a door slam behind him as he carried some candles used in the service to the storage room, leaving them alone in the church. 

For a moment Viktor's mind wandered to the last time they were in a chapel alone together some fifteen years ago. He vividly remembered how the other man had stood up for them both when the staff member had gotten in between them. A paper fell out of Viktor’s bible held loosely in his had and the sound of its fall roused his attention. He leaned down quickly to pick it up.

After laughing awkwardly at himself, Viktor asked, “You mentioned lunch, right? I am starving! If you saw any places you wanted to try, I probably know what's best to get. I have been around, to the restaurants at least.”  _ Wow, could that have been less smooth if you tried? _ Viktor questioned internally. 

"I'm sorry if you wanted to go to a restaurant, we can still go, but," he fished out of his bag two tightly wrapped boxes, "I made bento for us. You can still have it for dinner if you prefer…"

“No, no, no, that is perfect! Wow! Homemade food, what a delicacy!” Viktor’s mouth was watering just at the sight.

"Great!" Yuuri exclaimed excitedly. "So... Where do you want to eat?" 

Viktor looked around in thought, “There is a break room near the offices, but Yakov is probably back there. He packs his lunch to avoid the after church crowd at the restaurants.” Viktor was nervous to offer his next suggestion, but something in his heart told him that it was okay. “I live up the road if you want to eat at my place,” Viktor added nervously, “I am sure Makka would like to meet you.” 

"Ooohh, I get to meet the doggo! Yes! Let's go to your place," he said smiling broadly, excited to see the dog he heard Viktor talk so fondly about the other day. 

Viktor nodded in agreement, “Let me grab my bag and say by to Yura, and I'll be ready.” 

When they left the church they walked side by side in a comfortable silence. It was a sunny day but there was a pleasant cooling breeze that helped with the warmth of the sun on their skin. The apartment wasn't that far, just a mere five minutes walk and they arrived.

When walking up the stairs to the second floor, Yuuri could already hear excited whines and scratches on the door from the other side. “Makka gets really excited when I get home. She may jump on you so be careful,” Viktor warned before opening the door. A big fluffy brown woofer pounced through the doorway and jumped up right on Yuuri’s shoulders. “Makka! Stop it! Get down!” Viktor commanded without much avail. 

Suddenly Yuuri found himself pounced by a big mop of brown curls, but he couldn't find himself to be mad about it. He laughed wholeheartedly and scratched her hears while letting himself be kissed and slobbered on. He loved dogs so much.

Viktor managed to clip her leash on and pull her off of his guest. “I’m so sorry! She is being a bad girl!” Viktor held tightly to her collar finally getting a little control over his excited baby girl. “Yuusha, are you ok?” 

"I'm fine!" He said in a happy tone "I don't mind her being excited. I honestly love dogs, I had one in the past but… Yeah. I don't anymore." he said before coughing a bit and turning away.

Before Viktor could inquire further, Makka started pulling the Russian man down the stairs, now wanting to explore the grassy area in front of the building. 

After Makka did her business, Viktor managed to get his high energy pup back inside the apartment. “Sorry, she was more manageable back in Russia. We didn't have to keep her on a leash, and even after all this time in the states she still hasn’t gotten used to smaller quarters.” 

Yuuri bent over to pet her more. "She's is such a beautiful girl!" After she gave him a few more licks he smiled and laughed, "I might need to wash my hands before lunch… and face."

Viktor laughed too; he was happy to see how much Yuuri seemed to like Makka. Yakov never comes over to his apartment because he doesn't care much for dogs. “The bathroom is down the hall,” Viktor pointed. “I am going to change out of this, and then I'll meet you in the kitchen over there to the right.” 

Viktor went to his small bedroom and quickly got out of his cassock. He didn't want to wear super casual clothing because Yuuri was still in his Sunday best, so after looking through his wardrobe for a little while, he chose a pastel short sleeve button up and tan pants. He passively wondered why he considered his outfit for so long, but disregarded the thought when he heard the sounds of Makka jumping around in the kitchen. 

Yuuri quickly washed up and went back into the kitchen. Viktor wasn't there yet so he used that time to unpack their lunch and put it in the microwave to warm up. 

Makka tried her best to get some scraps from him but he didn't know if she was allowed so he tried hard to resist her charm. "No, Makka. Down. No!" He tried in a calm and stern voice.

Viktor walked in the kitchen to see Yuuri looking down at Makka with his hands on his hips, it was truly an adorable sight to see. 

“Makka are you begging?” he asked playfully, “You know you are not supposed to have people food,” faking an authoritative voice. 

He grabbed a treat from the box in the cabinet for her and tried to get her to show off her tricks for Yuuri. “Makka, sit! Good girl,” like the good dog she was, she was ready for her next instruction, “Now lay down, roll over. Good girl!” After rolling over she got her bacon-flavored reward. 

“Even though I got Makka in Russia, I trained her with English words because I knew I wanted to come back here with her someday,” Viktor explained. 

The microwave pinged before Yuuri could say anything about that so he smiled. "I have a surprise! Sit at the table and close your eyes!" Yuuri said excitedly.

Viktor did as instructed, wondering what Yuuri had in store for him. 

Yuuri set the katsudon and chopsticks in front of them and waited in front of Viktor.

"Okay, it's ready. Open your eyes!" He said not quite capable of containing his smile.

Before he opened his eyes a delicious aroma filled his nose that took him back to his childhood. Off the smell alone he couldn't quite place the name, but when he opened his eyes and saw the egg and pork over steaming rice he immediately knew, “Katsudon!” Viktor practically squealed. 

"Yes! I'm glad you remember that. I thought it had been a long time since you had some, so I called Okasan and asked her to help me make it. It might be not as good but it's her recipe." He said blushing slightly.

Viktor stood up from his seat at the table and hugged his friend to express his thanks. “Of course I remember, it was your favorite! And your right. Its been… Its been since Okasan had me over right before I moved.” Viktor squeezed tighter, “Thank you.” Viktor let go when the microwave dinged for Yuuri’s portion, and he sat back down and waited for Yuuri to join him. 

Yuuri sat down and joined his hands together in prayer. "Would you like to say grace?" He looked up smiling at the other man.

“Yes,” Viktor agreed. He took a moment to think, for Yuuri had taken his hand and it filled his heart with the same feeling that it did all those years ago. As a child, he didn't understand the feeling he had when their hands first met, but now that he understood that his feelings for Jesus were love, he recognized that love immediately. It was a little scary because Viktor had only had love like that for God, and his parents, why did he feel this kind of love for Yuuri. 

Yuuri closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on anything that wasn't the warm hand in his. He hoped he wasn't trembling, he hoped Viktor couldn't feel his heart hammering in his chest.

The Japanese man opened his eyes again taking a deep breath and waited for Viktor. The man across from him had his eyes shut so tightly in focus that the skin on his brow was creased. 

Viktor felt Yuuri’s hands around his own move slightly and it broke him out of his deep concentration. He had no idea how long he had been pondering but at the connection of their hands, his understanding of his values had been altered. 

He cleared his throat and started, “Lord, thank you for building the path of life for us both to be connected once again for this meal. With all the vastness of your creation, you chose for us to be reunited and I am forever thankful for the endless blessings that you have bestowed on me. May we continue to honor you with our actions. Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.” 

"Amen," Yuuri said a little choked up. 

He squeezed once more Viktor's hand before letting him go. "That was… Thanks for the nice words." 

He was shaking slightly, so he gripped his chopsticks hard.

Yuuri’s actions, although subtle, did not go unnoticed. Viktor wondered if Yuuri felt something when their hands connected to, but he felt it was not his place to ask. 

He distracted himself with the delicious food before him and dug in. He was happily surprised that he had not forgotten how to use chopsticks after all this time. “Yuusha, this is delicious!” 

"I'm glad you like it!" He said smiling and starting to eat as well. Had been barely a week since he left home but he still missed his mum's cooking, even if this wasn't exactly the same it reminded him of it well enough. He made a pleased sound and ate some more.

“This is better than I remember! Yuusha, you are a fantastic cook!” Viktor continued to shower Yuuri with compliments. When he said that home-cooked meals were a delicacy he wasn't lying. After leaving Russia, he ate on a school meal plan for his undergrad, and in seminary school, he has eaten out a regrettable number of times because of his lack of cooking skills and he dedicated much time to his studies. He honestly hoped that Yuuri had not looked in his fridge because it was in a sad state. 

They ate talking amicably between bites, catching up some more. After they finished their meal they cleaned up together, washing and drying the pots side by side. All of it felt more domestic than it should have.

They found themselves sitting on the small couch, legs folded under them and Yuuri hadn't felt like that in a long time, maybe ever because this was all familiar and different at the same time.

"Vicchan… do you remember, before you moved away…?" he asked shyly.

Viktor tightened on side of his mouth in a sad half smile. “Yes. We tried everything to keep my family from moving.” Viktor recalled, “Or to get them to let me stay.” 

"Yeah… I… I missed you. We were kids but you were my best friend. You still are. Things are different but… We promised didn't we?" he said feeling smaller than he was.

Viktor shifted his legs beneath him and rested his elbow on the back of the couch. “We did,” Viktor agreed, “And I missed you too. I actually gave my parents quite a scare just after we got back. I packed a little bag and set off on foot. Not that I had any idea of where I was really going, but I had a world map and knew where to find New York. They found me just out of town that evening. I put up quite a fight when they took me back.” Viktor remembered throwing a tantrum when they carried him home, screaming ‘I need my husband,’ but he left that part out of the story. 

Yuuri smiled imagining tiny Viktor kicking and screaming about. "I always hoped you would come back. My parents were so worried, I cried so much. That's when they got me my dog. They thought it would help… it's ridiculous, he was a poodle as well." He smiled remembering his late dog.

“You had a poodle?” Viktor asked with surprise. 

"Yeah. A toy one, we didn't have room for a big dog. Wanna know what I named him?" he asked, giggling a little at how silly he was as a child.

“Of course,” Viktor said, not yet understanding the reason for Yuuri’s giggle. 

"Vicchan." He simply said looking at Viktor.

“Yes?” Viktor said questioningly. He ran a hand through his hair wondering if it was out of sorts or something.

"I meant my dog. I called him Vicchan." He said blushing and hiding his face in his hands, laughing.

“Oh, my stars!” Viktor said putting his hands to his mouth in surprise, “You didn’t!” 

"Oh, believe me, I did. And I argued with my sister for days to do so," he smiled in reminiscence, "She still hasn't forgiven me for going through her stuff to steal…" He stopped talking because he didn't know if Viktor wanted to talk about their fake wedding. They had been quite good to avoid the topic, up until now.

“To steal…” Viktor prompted, unsure where this was going in relation to naming the poodle. 

Yuuri wasn't sure if it was the best idea he had but nonetheless, he unfolded his legs to grab his coin pouch from his bag on the floor, to then pick out of it a very old but cherished, little snowflake ring. 

"This," he said in a whisper, not trusting himself to look at Viktor.

Viktor gasped. He still has it. Viktor took the little blue snowflake ring from Yuuri’s hand and examined it. It was clearly well worn just like his own. “And I thought I had just been overly sentimental in keeping mine,” he said quietly and he turned it around in his palm.

"You kept it, too?" Yuuri asked, turning around with a surprised face.

“Yes, I always held on to it. They tell you not to keep things, you know, living a modest life, but I could never let it go.” Viktor looked distant for a moment before facing Yuuri and saying, “It's in my desk drawer, one moment,” and the silver-haired man dashed into the other room. In a moment he was back, the pair of rings in hand. He sat next to Yuuri, admittedly closer then he was before so they could both look at them. 

“I wore it until it couldn't fit on my finger anymore,” Viktor said reminiscently. 

"I did too. Mine got stuck one day. Okasan had to help me with butter to get it off." Yuuri said snorting a little. 

Viktor smiled in response, imagining that happening. “I can’t believe that we both still have them and that they have lasted this long. They don't make toys like this anymore." 

Yuuri took the purple one and reached for Viktor's hand. "Our hands are way bigger now. Maybe…" he tried to put the ring on the other man's pinky but it stopped at the first knuckle, "Oh well. Close enough." He smiled softly and still holding Viktor's hand in his.

Viktor’s heart did a flip when Yuuri slid the ring on his pinky just like it did all those years ago when he put the ring on him for the first time. Viktor took Yuuri's ring and put the little trinket on his pinky. The ring slid a little further down on Yuuri’s finger for his hand was a little smaller than Viktor’s, but it still did not slide down to the base. Viktor slid his thumb over the jewel and smiled when he felt the strong pulse in Yuuri’s hand.  _ He must feel it too _ , he thought. 

Yuuri felt his breath catch and his heart pick up speed in his chest. He closed his eyes, he couldn't bear to look at Viktor, he was about to do something very stupid.

This was wrong and yet so incredibly right. 

Viktor looked up to see Yuuri’s eyes closed tightly and his cheeks flushed a deep pink shade. Though much older now, the man before him looked just like the little blushing boy at the altar who he shared his first, and only, kiss with. His body acted on its own and he reached up to cusp Yuuri's chin just as he had before. They were so close, he barely had to move before he felt the other man's lips on his own. 

Yuuri froze at the contact, just as the first time. This time was different though, this time he knew exactly what this meant and what they were doing.

Viktor's lips were still soft and inviting so it really didn't take him long before he melted into the kiss and placed a hand on the back of Viktor's head to pull him closer to kiss him back.

Viktor thought that he knew understood the feeling he had when Yuuri took his hands for the blessing at dinner; the feeling of love like his love for Jesus and for his family; but the feeling he had when their lips connected was slightly different, like that love but near tenfold. The feeling was like that love but twisted and unique, overpowering but beautiful. Viktor reveled in it but at the same time was scared of it for its power and unfamiliarity. His mind clouded when Yuuri’s hand reached up to twist his fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. 

Yuuri cherished the soft contact. That was it, the feeling he had been looking for for years. No one was even remotely close to making him feel like Viktor did with one simple peck on the lips. 

He wasn't ready to pull away. He wanted more. He  _ needed _ more. Yuuri Katsuki was a greedy man when it came to Viktor, apparently. He gave the other man just a second after they parted before tilting his head just so and kissing him again, this time much different than the previous. 

This kiss spoke of longing, of desire, of love. All that he couldn't actually say out loud he tried to say it with that kiss. He parted his lips and tentatively licked Viktor's, hoping that he would be willing to accept its message.

Viktor could feel the swipe of Yuuri’s tongue across his lip and it sent an electric shiver down his spine. His jaw went slack with the feeling, incidentally causing his mouth to open. His body felt like it was melting and reshaping like his sole was trying to become one with Yuuri’s. His hand went to Yuuri’s hip to try to hold on to something.

Yuuri felt like he was floating somewhere far away. He was with Viktor, beautiful, amazing, perfect Viktor, that had kissed him, that was still kissing him and opening up to him so beautifully and meeting him where he was. When their tongues met Yuuri tightened his hold on Viktor's hair and almost whimpered.

The sound, the smell, the taste, the feeling was beyond anything Viktor had experienced before. He never could have imagined how erotic it would be to rub tongues together with someone, but it was probably only so because it was with Yuuri, his Yuuri, his Yuusha. 

His pants had become tight, but he didn’t notice until the back side of the zipper on his trousers began to become painful for how firmly it was pressed against his length. 

The pain between his legs was very sobering and he fought every instinct he had to keep kissing by pulling back from Yuuri and covering his lap with a pillow at lightning fast speed. The pressure of the pillow on his unexpected erection was dizzying and he moaned, causing a wave of embarrassment to overtake him as he gasped for air. 

Yuuri sat there for a second, dumbfounded, not understanding why it all ended. Until he realized why and let out a squeak opening his eyes.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry…" he said in a high pitched voice. He had kissed Viktor, the man who was about to get ordained, that he promised to devote his life to God's work… He was an awful person, why did he have to have close to zero self-control?

The emotions running through Viktor’s system was overwhelming and he felt anxious. Yuuri should not be apologizing for the best experience of his life. Why did he have to stop? He didn't want to. It wasn't right, but it was. The combination of it all made him feel anxious so his fists closed tightly. 

Makkachin, the ever-observant dog, approached her owner and put her head in his lap to try and figure out what was wrong. “It’s ok, it's ok,” his fists loosened and he stroked her head, “Its ok,” he repeated. 

Yuuri wasn't sure if Viktor was talking to him or his dog but he said "I kissed you. It's not you, it's me. It's not ok." He didn't know what was going on in his friend's head but he had a slight idea. Why did he have to be so selfish?

Makka lifted her head and jumped up on the couch between them. Her body lying across the pillow on Viktor’s lap, and head now in Yuuri’s lap. Viktor winced at the weight of his dog on top of him but believed it was a simple consequence for his actions. 

“No, you are not to blame, Yuusha, I kissed you,” Viktor corrected. “I kissed you and it's ok.” Still anxious and embarrassed for the situation but still high on the overwhelming feeling of the kiss, he leaned forward and put his head on Makka's back, effectively hiding his eyes for a moment delaying facing the situation at hand. 

"Should… should I leave? I'm clearly making you uncomfortable… I…” Makka nuzzled her nose under Yuuri’s hand forcing him to pet her. He basically shoved his tongue in Viktor’s mouth, and the worst was that he knew he wouldn't have stopped there.

“No?” It sounded like a question, “You can if you want to but…” I don't want you to, Viktor leaned up from the curly brown fur he had buried himself in. He rubbed his eyes with his palms vigorously, “I am not uncomfortable,” his hands slid from his eyes to his cheeks, “I am just confused. Maybe overwhelmed. I don't know.” His bangs were all messed up and with his hands on his cheeks like that he looked just like the little boy that Yuuri saw in the corner of the class the day they met. 

"Oh," Yuuri said in an exhale. "I don't want to leave," he added simply.

After a long silence, Yuuri asked, "Can I… can I just hold you?" Yuuri reached out to Viktor, taking his hand trying to offer comfort. 

When Yuuri took his hand, his anxiety seemed to melt away. He still felt the love like the felt before, but this type of love was much more familiar to him, “Makka baby, it's ok. Get down.” With a wag, the big woofer jumped off the couch, unintentionally gut checking Viktor with a paw to the stomach as she went. He grunted with the discomfort but it did wonders to calm things down for him below the belt. 

Viktor tentatively scooted over and put the pillow that was on his lap over Yuuri’s, just in case, and then rested his head on Yuuri’s lap. He felt his body relax immediately in Yuuri’s presence. Their position was rather intimate for him but still comfortable. “Makka has been by my side for... six years now,” Viktor said but he wasn't entirely sure. “She knows when I am feeling anxious or stressed.” 

"She is an amazing dog. I love her already." Yuuri said calmly, wishing he had something like that when he had needed it. "I had major anxiety problems during university… I would just close myself in my room, not talking to anyone, eating whatever I could find. I gained so much weight!" 

“Really?” Viktor asked in surprise, “You look really good to me,” he blushed a little after hearing what he said but continued, “I understand though, school was really stressful. I had to put on a brave face because if the seminary doesn't think you are perfect, they won't accept you into the program. I haven't seen my family since I came back here and it has been really hard, but Makka kept me busy between classes.” 

Yuuri started to card his fingers through the silver locks, absentmindedly. "Well I kinda had Phichit to keep me busy…" he then realized how that sounded so blushed and he quickly added "I mean he is always active. He tried to get through me at first nicely… then he basically dragged me to a counselor and that helped me realize I really needed therapy." He sighed and relaxed on the couch. 

"Even if he used to be my boyfriend and I broke things off he was always understanding, helping me when my mind was becoming too much, bringing me to dance classes and stuff. Smuggling hamsters around the apartment since animals weren't allowed so we could have pets. Although he was the one obsessed with them so that played out well enough for him." He giggled remembering those cute furry balls.

Viktor smiled, he was truly happy that Yuuri had someone there for him over the years. Viktor would have liked someone like that himself, certainly, he had God, and his family, and Makka, but he always felt like maybe a little bit was missing. 

“I have never been in a relationship,” Viktor announced tentatively. He felt awkward bringing it up now, but what time would be better than the present. 

Yuuri left his hand where it was but stopped moving. "Never?" He asked with a bit of shock. Viktor was a gorgeous man, surely someone would have been gladly interested in him.

“Never,” Viktor confirmed, “Other than being fake married to you, of course,” Viktor laughed lightly, he took the ring off and reached over his head to put it on the table for safe keeping. 

"Then… today… earlier… was that your first kiss?" Yuuri was so overwhelmed by the fact, he had probably been the only person to ever touch those lips like that. 

“No, my second. The first, technically, was with you at the chapel that day,” Viktor answered easily, feeling much more relaxed about the situation, “It was the best second kiss ever!” Viktor smiled and turned slightly to look up at Yuuri. 

"Vicchan…" he smiled but he felt like he stole something like he didn't deserve it. 

“Please, don’t stop,” Viktor turned back and guided Yuuri's hand back to his hair, “It feels nice.” 

_ 17 years ago… _

“Yuushaaa, don't stop,” Viktor whined when Yuuri’s hands left his long silver locks and he heard the brush being set down behind him, “It feels nice.” 

"But we need to go, it's almost lunchtime!" Yuuri said smiling, still playing with the long silver hair in front of him.

“You said you would braid it so it would look pretty for lunch with Okasan!” Viktor begged in his sweet voice. 

"Ok, ok. I can't do it as good as Mari does. But I will try." He said picking up the brush and started to part the locks, tongue out between his lips for concentration.

“Ypa!” Viktor squealed in excitement. Viktor loved when Yuuri played with his hair. More and more recently his mom had tried to get him to cut it, at least trim a few inches off, but since Yuuri kept playing with it, he wouldn't dare. 

"Stay still, Vicchan!" The Japanese scolded him but in a smile.

“Daaa, Yuusha,” Viktor said, fidgeting his toes slightly just to be ornery.

_ Present time _

Viktor shook his head briefly, “I think I just had deja vu. That's never happened to me before and when people describe it, it's hard to believe, you know?” 

"Well, I spent my fair share of time playing with your hair as kids." He resumed the movements of his fingers and smiled "Haven't I, Vicchan?

“Mhmm,” Viktor hummed, feeling blissful under the gentle touch of Yuuri’s fingertips. 

"Viktor… Vicchan… I promised I would never lie to you. And for sure I won't start keeping things from you now." He said seriously.

Viktor turned from his side to his back so he could look at Yuuri in the eyes, his tone making him concerned. 

"I feel like I don't deserve any of this. And for sure I didn't deserve your kiss. I don't regret it, even if I should. But you worked so hard to follow your vocation and I don't want to ruin everything for you." He took a big breath and looked at Viktor right in the eyes. "I.. I love you Vicchan, I always did. In lots of ways. And if that means for me to be at your side and help you work to get where you want to be… it's ok. I can be a good friend. And only that."

As Viktor looked up at Yuuri his vision clouded. He had never had someone speak to him so openly and honestly about feelings that involved him, feelings that were for him. Yuuri loves me. Viktor thought, and his throat felt tight. 

Yuuri felt a surge of panic when he saw those beautiful eyes filling with tears. "A-are you crying?!" He didn't mean to make him cry.

Viktor touched his face and felt a warm tear slid down his cheek. “I,” He sat up and wiped his eyes, “I guess I am.” Viktor didn't really know why, he was crying, but hearing Yuuri’s confession broke a barrier inside of him that unleashed a wave of unfamiliar emotion. 

"Please don't. I want you to be happy."

“Yuusha, I am happy.” Viktor leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Yuuri. He needed to be close to the other man. “You love me, and I… and I…” Viktor buried his face into Yuuri’s shoulder as more tears came out. 

"I know Vicchan. You are my best friend right? We have always loved each other. And I told you that because I need you to know that I won't be asking anything more. I don't want to come between you and your faith." He squeezed the man a bit harder than he was initially. "It's ok. God made us meet again, I won't let myself be greedy and disappoint Him by asking more than what He gave us."

Yuuri’s words made sense, and he nodded, still buried into his shoulder. They love each other and both know it, that was comforting. He just had to stay on track, keep up his faith and keep moving in the direction that God had intended for him to go. He must be doing the right thing with all the blessings he has received so he must remain on this path. “Yuusha…” Viktor mumbled. 

“Yes?” Yuuri replied. 

Viktor leaned in a little so he could be heard but still clinging to the man for Yuuri was grounding him, “Please, just stay by my side.” 

"I'm never letting you go again," Yuuri replied smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next two weeks, Viktor made it appoint to finish all his course work early in the day or would stay up much too late so he would have more time to spend with Yuuri. 

The pair were near inseparable. They went out to eat at Viktor's favorite places, took Makka for walks, went to a movie, and even went to play Fowling one day; a game invented there in Detroit that involves knocking down bowling pins with a football. Viktor went to the gym a bit less than he normally would but he almost felt like he was making up for lost time with his friend. 

Yuuri loved spending time with Viktor. He always did, even as a child, but this was different. They were both grown adults and even though they could easily have grown apart over the years it wasn't the case. It was so easy for Yuuri to get distracted from the fact that what was going on between them had an expiration date and even though they would always be close he couldn't have Viktor all to himself.

He didn't let it show though, Yuuri always wore a smile next to his friend. He didn't even have to pretend because those were some of the happiest days in his life thus far. The problem came when he was home. He was home, in his bed alone when all he wanted was to be next to the love of his life, kissing him and taking him apart over and over.

He talked to Phichit about it and he hadn't been any help. His Thai friend said that he had no business going on “dates” with an unavailable man. Yuuri irrationally got angry at Phichit for his suggestion of moving on and hung up the phone on him. 

His anger directed at his friend wasn’t fair. Phichit was just stating the obvious. But how could he when all he could think about was Viktor' smile, Viktor's hands in his, Viktor's lips… Viktor, Viktor, Viktor! 

He was going insane.

He thought about Phichit's words again and he knew he was right. He needed at least to try.

After a few hours spent on a dating app, he agreed on a date with a Korean guy named Seun-gil. He didn't really have any expectations for success but at least the guy had a cute dog.

That's why right now he was walking awkwardly next to the quiet Korean, on their way out of the restaurant where they had a very uncomfortable date. 

Yuuri’s situation started to feel hopeless.

The countdown of weeks until Viktor’s ordainment ceremony was now a countdown of days. He had to take a final exam for one of his seminal classes the next day so he planned not to go out with Yuuri that evening. He would have liked to have seen his friend but they had done so much together in the past weeks that his bank account was suffering. 

As the hours ticked past with his nose in a textbook the Russian grew antsier. He felt like he knew the material for the exam like the back of his hand so he decided to go to the gym to blow off some steam. He thought about messaging Yuuri, but it was on the late side so he just went on his way. The 24-hour gym he went to was a few blocks further up the road then the church so he put on some joggers and used the distance as a warmup. 

Viktor padded down the walkway in the cool dusk air. He had headphones in and was beginning to get into the groove when he saw his best friend's beautiful face walking towards him. 

Seun-gil had just reached for Yuuri’s hand and the cool clammy grip made Yuuri cringe so he pulled his hand away and stuffed it into his pocket. In that moment Yuuri wondered if the date could go any worse. 

How could the date go worse than it did? But of course, meeting Viktor when he was with his date!

Yuuri saw him coming and he started to internally panic.

Should he run? Should he hide?

Of course not. 

That would be absolutely awkward and he promised Viktor that they were just friends and that he was ok with it…

"Heeeey Viktor!" he said smiling way too much. Of course. Normal and calm indeed. 

“Yuuri?” Viktor was confused, they never used their actual names unless it was serious. He pulled out his headphones and came to a stop in front of the nicely dressed pair. Yuuri’s strained smile just added to his confusion. “Is everything ok?” he asked, eyeing the stranger next to him carefully. 

Crap, he thought, get a grip Yuuri.

"Sure Vicchan, sorry. I was just surprised to see you since you had to study…" he said, fidgeting a little.

“Yeah, I did, just stepped out to get some gym time in,” Viktor responded, unsure why Yuuri seemed so unsettled. 

Korean man next to Yuuri cleared his throat.

"Oh! Right. Seung-gil, this is my best friend Viktor. Vicchan, this is Seun-gil… my… ehm…"

"Date for the night," the man supplied with a flat unimpressed voice.

Viktor’s muscles clenched at the word date. Mabey a look of detest flashed across his face but he tried to conceal it immediately. Why was he getting so mad? Yuuri was his friend, best friend and he had every right to date. But he couldn't help but feel so angry inside. He was a man who always kept his cool, only mad over the odd stubbed toe every now and again but now his heart was racing from more than just running. 

He would not let his emotions take over him like this, he was a man of God and he was absolutely going to act like it. 

“A pleasure to meet you, Sir,” Viktor said, for he had already forgotten the man’s complicated name for his anger. “Yuuri,” he nodded towards him in acknowledgment, “I’ll be on my way now.” The Russian sidestepped past the pair and began running at a far faster pace then he had been at before, almost as if he could run away from the whole situation if he tried hard enough. 

"Sure… b-bye Viktor…" but he knew that he wouldn't even be able to hear him now.

"Yuuri, I don't know what there is here between you two…" The Japanese tried to say something but the unimpressed look the other man’s face shut him up. "... but I have no interest in getting myself involved with other couple’s problems. It’s better to get back home."

Could Yuuri blame him? 

They bid their goodbyes quickly and went their separate ways.

Yuuri was again at home, alone, and he felt more hopeless than ever.

Viktor ran right past the 24-hour gym and further on to a block he was unfamiliar with. He had at least run two miles but he wasn't sure. He put his hands to his knees and panted heavily. The image of that guy swirled through his mind. He should be happy Yuuri was having a nice evening with someone but he could not help but wish that he was where that guy was, instead. 

It wasn't fair that someone else was on a date with Yuuri. Yuuri was his… friend. And in two days he would absolutely be nothing more... Ever. He never wanted more from anyone else, but he wanted more with Yuuri. 

He wanted more with Yuuri… He wanted Yuuri. 

The Russian man turned back around and started running in the direction he came from. Yuuri’s house was not far by car, but it was a decently far run. He didn’t care, he could make it. His legs burned and sweat dripped from his temple and soaked his shirt but he continued. Vaguely he thought that this could be a horrible mistake, that Yuuri may not be home or worse yet that black haired man could be at Yuuri’s but his legs wouldn’t let him stop until he was at Yuuri’s doorstep. 

When Yuuri heard his doorbell he jumped up from his bed, where he was face down crying his eyes out. He rubbed his face and looked at his phone. It was almost midnight, who could be at this time at night?

"Who is it?" He asked unsure on the intercom.

“Yuu-sha-can-I-come-in?” Viktor asked between pants. He always stayed in shape, but he had always been more of a sprinter than a distance runner so he was pretty beat.

"V-vicchan?! Are you ok? Come up!" He said worriedly buzzing him in. He quickly washed his face, hoping to wash away any sign of his tears, and then waited for his friend by the door.

Why Yuuri had a flat on the 5th floor of the building was a question beyond Viktor’s understanding. The fatigue hit him hard as he sprinted up the stairs. He slowed down by the third flight and was practically crawling up the last ones to get to Yuuri’s door. 

He was holding himself up by the wall, completely winded from the run, but when he saw Yuuri’s puffy eyes he closed the distance quickly. He immediately wrapped his sweat soaked body around his best friend, “I’m sorry, Yuusha, I am so sorry!” Viktor cried, seeing Yuuri’s sadness written all over his face made him feel terribly guilty. 

"Sorry? No, no need to. I was just… I'm completely fine. I am…" he didn't sound convincing even in his own ears.

“No,” Viktor breathed heavily trying to regain control, “You are not fine. We-We are not fine.”

"What do you want me to do? I refuse to be away from you again. No chance. I will learn to deal with this, having you in my life is too much a precious gift to give up… I don't want to be mad but I am! Why would God bring us together again to then not give me the strength to stay away?!" at that point he wouldn't even try to keep his tears inside. He sobbed and added, "I have to try. I had to try and move on and Seung-gil is a perfectly nice guy…" but he's not you.

Viktor held onto Yuuri tightly and guided them out of the entranceway of the apartment and on to the sofa. Yuuri was still sobbing, and it was all his fault. Viktor stroked Yuuri’s back soothingly and whispered into Yuuri’s ear, “Shhh Yuusha, I am here.” Viktor repositioned himself so he had a better hold on his best friend and he continued to try to comfort him. “Yuusha, please. Breathe with me,” 

Yuuri tried to calm down but it was impossible. With Viktor near him felt relief but in turn the guilt he harbored from his feelings for the other man only amplified. His mind raced and he imagined how this evening would tear them apart. Tears dripped from his chin as he imagined what it would feel if Viktor disappeared from his life again. This time it wasn't just a childhood friendship… but was it ever?

“Yuusha, listen to me,” he said calmly, the Japanese man was in hysterics but he was going to try to get through to him. 

“Why would God give us the power of choice, if he didn't intend for us to make them?” Viktor waited a moment to continue all while still rubbing Yuuri’s back, “Why would he have brought you into my life and back again if we were not supposed to be near each other?” Viktor took one of Yuuri’s hands and kissed it, “Why would he not have given you the strength to stay away if you were supposed to?”

The Japanese shook his head and sobbed out, "Don't say things like that… don't." He tried to scoot back but he didn't have the strength to. "I feel so bad, every time I come here, back home, I wish you were here with me, that I could have more than what we already have… it's not fair on you, it's not right. Asking God to give me more than what I already have. I'm greedy. And ungrateful. And selfish."

Viktor moved forward and pressed his lips to his best friend's, almost to try to kiss the words off of them. What he said may be true, but they were true for everyone. Everyone is a sinner but that didn’t stop Jesus from loving anyone any less. He felt Yuuri relax into his arms and he held the contact, not wanting the kiss to end. 

Yuuri sighed into the kiss, he knew that the shouldn't be doing this, but he didn't have the strength to pry himself apart from the other man.

He kept pressing his lips on Viktor's and took in every single detail of the kiss, which probably would be their last.

This will be enough… This is enough, Yuuri said in his mind trying to convince himself. But there was no such thing as enough Viktor. He pressed himself closer and brought his arms desperately around the other man's neck.

Viktor was overtaken by the same feeling that he had felt when they kissed before. He couldn’t describe it in any other way than love but more. This time he wasn't going to back down from the feeling, he made up his mind that he wanted Yuuri, so he was going to embrace it. When he felt Yuuri’s arms circle around his neck, he let his hands go to Yuuri’s hips as he continued to kiss the other man feverishly. 

Yuuri was in heaven. Or in hell. He honestly didn't know. All he knew was that he never wanted this to end so he didn't dare push the limits like he did last time. He continued giving Viktor small wet kisses, playing with his lower lip, grasping his face and trembling with desire at every contact of lips.

Viktor, who was still in sweat-soaked clothing from his run, became aware of how uncomfortable his wet shirt was. It dawned on him that Yuuri was all over him in such a dirty, frankly undesirable, state. He pulled back for a moment, just long enough to take the soiled garment off, and then advanced again. 

When Yuuri felt the loss of warmth whined displeased but the sight of a shirtless Viktor made him completely parched. He is so fucking gorgeous, he thought while kissing him again letting his hands roam on as much skin he could touch.

Yuuri’s hands on his abdomen felt white hot and Viktor was thriving off the clear happiness that was radiating off the man he was kissing. Viktor felt himself filling out his joggers very quickly, but even if he had wanted to, which he didn't, nothing would have been able to make him pull himself away from Yuuri’s delicious lips. The taste of his lips was so good and he wanted more. Viktor tentatively let his tongue peek out, and he swiped it along Yuuri’s bottom lip. 

This time Yuuri couldn't contain the whimper and did not waste any time to open his mouth and play with Viktor's tongue. He could taste the salt of his now drying tears and sweat on the other man's face but he didn't care the slightest.

Touching him and kissing him like he dreamed about so many times in the past month was exhilarating. He parted to take a breath and whispered an almost pained, "Vicchan…!" on his lips, before attacking them once more, biting playfully. He was starting to get painfully hard in his pajamas.

The touch of their tongues and the bite on his lip was intoxicating. He could feel his heart racing and the blood thrumming through his veins with every second of contact. When he brought his hands back to Yuuri’s hips, he felt the tenting of his bottoms from his erection. It was all so new to him, but he wanted to explore every bit of Yuuri’s body. He had no idea what he was doing, but he was ready. 

Yuuri wanted to feel more, he needed more. He parted the kiss again and looked at Viktor to find any trace of insecurity, but this time he didn't see any on the flushed face of the man he loved.

He took his shirt off as well to feel skin on skin and in a swift motion he brought his knees on each side of Viktor's hips, straddling him and looking down at him like he wanted to eat him.

Yuuri’s eyes looked different looking down at Viktor from his new position. They looked almost fierce, but no less kind; they looked determined like Viktor was a prize that he was at the cusp of winning. A switch in Yuuri had been flipped and all that Viktor could do was hold on to the man's hips and try to maintain a semblance of composure because the way Yuuri’s ass was resting on his dick gave him more pleasure then he felt capable of having. 

The Japanese man moaned delighted of the feeling of the other man's erection against him and he couldn't resist on bearing down a bit more, moving slowly his hips so that they both would feel each other arousal rutting against their body. He panted on Viktor's salty neck before leaving a trail of wet kisses anywhere his lips could reach without putting space between them.

Viktor’s body began to shake. The feeling of Yuuri’s eager erection rubbing up against him was mind-blowing. Their clothed bodies were thrusting up against each other in tandem and Yuuri's hot mouth nibbled his neck. 

Viktor pressed his feet firmly into the floor lifting them both slightly as the air left his lungs. Orgasm flooded through his system, hot seed poured into his pants damping the fabric between them. “Yuuuah-sha,” Viktor cried out as his nails scratched the pale flesh of Yuuri’s back. 

Yuuri realized that Viktor was coming under him and the thought made him lose it as well. He pressed himself a bit harder on Viktor's stomach and cried out suddenly for his own pleasure and the slight pain of the other man's nails on his skin.

"So… beautiful… my Vicchan," he panted, coming up with a trail of kisses, from his neck to his lips again, kissing him much more calmly and languidly.

The tension in Viktor’s body from orgasm relaxed with the help of Yuuri’s tender kisses. He felt as if he had let the other man into his soul and he hummed with the comfort of that realization. It's true that neither of them had removed their pants but he felt that he had become one with the perfect man above him. 

Yuuri was coming down from the high of his orgasm and let himself relax in Viktor's arms, cuddling a bit and nuzzling the silver hair. This. This was easily the happiest he has ever been.

"I love you. I love you so much, Vicchan."

Viktor guided Yuuri's head back so he could look at the man in the eye, “Yuusha, I love you, too.” The phrase he could not bring himself to say a few short weeks ago came out as easily and naturally as a prayer. He then brought his head forward, resting his forehead against Yuuri’s. “I feel… I feel so whole.” 

Yuuri tilted his head forward and touched noses with Viktor, “Me too.” There was a chasteness to his voice like there was more on his mind, and unspoken prayer lingered behind those words. 

Viktor was still wound up from his orgasm but could sense the words unsaid. He brought his hand up and ran his fingers though Yuuri’s thick hair. “What is it my Yuusha?” 

"I… I don't want to break this moment. It's nothing," he said, knowing well that Viktor would sense the half-lie straight away. But if this was all he would have he wanted to keep it perfect.

Viktor brought his other hand to Yuuri’s face, cupping both of his cheeks between his hands. The Russian heald the other man with his gaze, searching for the answers he sought within those brown eyes. “It’s not nothing, I can see that clearly. I am here for you Yuusha, please talk to me.” Viktor’s thumbs rubbed the red puffy skin below Yuuri’s eyes. He felt terrible that he had caused all of Yuuri’s pain. 

"What about tomorrow, Vicchan? What about when we can't have this anymore?" He felt awful about asking those questions but his mind was so set on not letting him forget them.

“I…” Viktor started but he wasn't really sure where he was going. He swallowed thickly, “I don't know, but… But what I do know is that I love you. I love you more than… Well, more than I should. I want you to be mine, and am willing to be yours.” Viktor’s hands were a little shaky, their future was so uncertain. The only thing he was certain about was that he needed Yuuri, more than just as a friend. 

"I am yours. I always was and always will be." Yuuri kissed him again, sweetly, and added, "You need to find your answers. You very well know that we can't have both. And whatever the answer might be I'll be yours regardless, in any way you'll have me." He smiled sadly. He wasn't going anywhere, there was a reason why he was there and hopefully, God would give Viktor and answer soon. He will have to learn to live with the outcome.

Viktor questioned how he could be so blessed. He was a fine man, naturally tried his best to live a righteous life, but what did he do to deserve someone so understanding? He felt that Yuuri’s kindness was not deserved. 

Viktor wanted to thank Yuuri properly, but the dampness between them was beginning to cool and become uncomfortable. He shifted slightly underneath the Japanese man and he seemed to take the hint for he stood up. 

Viktor was taken back by Yuuri’s beauty now that he was able to really lay his eyes on the other man’s form. The contour of his stomach looked like it was the work of an artist. The dip of his hips as they trailed beneath his low riding pants was enticing. The damp circle that stained his bottoms was proof of their passion and connection. Viktor could not help himself when he said, “You are so beautiful,” with his eyes glued to the body before him. 

Yuuri blushed under the gaze of the man and shifted on his feet. "I-I can give you some clothes to go home… you have to wake up quite early tomorrow morning." 

“Yes…” Viktor agreed tentatively. If it wasn't for Makka, he would have asked to stay. Nothing sounded better to him right then than cozying up with Yuuri under the covers. He felt like his body was craving to have Yuuri close, especially now that he got a taste of it. 

They both got changed and after a few more kisses in the way to the door, they found themselves obligated to bid goodbyes.

"Call me. When you are… ready. I'll be here waiting, ok?" He said tenderly with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“I will.” For some reason this parting seemed like a goodbye rather than a see you later. Viktor could not ignore the stinging in his chest when he turned to make the long walk back to his apartment.

Viktor had hoped that the many block walk would bring him some clarity, but his head was a mess. He felt more connected with Yuuri than he ever had before, but with his ordainment looming over him he also felt more distant. 

He couldn't stand to see Yuuri with that other man, but he couldn’t keep Yuuri all to himself without meeting him halfway. He meant the words he said to Yuuri before, why would God have allowed for their paths to cross if he wasn't meant to do something about it? Was becoming a priest still his calling? He thought it was… But what about Yuuri? 

Viktor found no rest that evening. Once the exhaustion set it and he tossed and turned, he started to feel bad for his behavior at Yuuri’s place. Celibacy had always been a nonconcern for him, but now he doesn't know if he could trust himself to abstain when he took his vows. He had already let himself go too far. 

It felt like had just drifted off to sleep when his alarm went off. With dark circles under his eyes, he trudged to his exam. The testing material was the last thing on his mind. 

The exam was brutal, not for the content but for the time he had to stop distracting himself by thinking about Yuuri. After he left, he felt more lost than he ever had before. The one place he felt like he could find direction was the church, so he went there. 

He trudged in the main entrance, backpack sliding off his shoulder, shirt untucked. He didn't even want to think about his hair. He saw a few patrons in the middle row, near the confessional. He looked at his watch, Oh confession, perfect. 

He very well knew that the man behind the shade would recognize him instantly, but he needed this. He slid into the stall and the little door opened revealing Yakov’s silhouette hidden behind the dense mesh. 

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” Viktor’s voice was a little strained and he didn’t know why, “It has been a month since my last confession.”

"Speak, Son, God is here to listen and help you repent."

“I have… I have sinned so much.” Viktor said after a deep breath. He didn't know where to start. 

“I have fallen in love and have sinned because… because I fear my love for him runs deeper than my love for Jesus. And I can’t…” Viktor squeezed his temple. He thought about his feelings all night, but he still couldn’t put them into words. 

"True love will never be seen as a sin by our Lord. And one can have love for Him, even when loving someone on this Earth." Yakov coughed lightly and said in a quiet voice, "Vitya, I feel like you have changed before my eyes in this last month. Beautiful changes, like a bud blooming into a flower. Are you happy?"

Viktor tapped his heel against the floor of the confessional, “Yes and no. Yes because he, he is the only one I have ever wanted to love. He has always been there for me even when distance parted us. He is endlessly understanding and accepting. He is purer of heart than anyone I have ever met. But that's why I am not happy. I am hurting him. I am making him suffer and the fact that he accepts it makes it worse in a way. He is selflessly willing to give all of himself or nothing at all just on my account.” Viktor paused, “I was so mad. I was so mad yesterday and I saw how ugly my soul can be.”

"Were you envious of what other people had? Did it bring you impure thoughts?"

“Yes,” Viktor admitted, “I wanted… I wanted and then I acted. My impurity went much further than jealousy.” Viktor hesitated, and considered that the lack of anonymity was making this confession harder, “I fear that when I take the vows, I will not be able to stay true to them, even if Yu-... even if he is. Something about him makes me drawn to him. God brought him into my life when I needed him most, not once but twice. I can’t let him go, but, I won't be able to keep him close either.” 

Yakov was quiet for a few seconds as if he was looking for the right words and then said, “God will put you where you need to be, but he doesn't expect you to be there forever if he finds for you a better pathway. You were meant to change and grow and prosper. Sometimes you can't do that without changing directions. Give thanks to the Lord for He is good."

Viktor tried to take in what his mentor told him, It’s okay to change? God would see it as a better path than serving him wholly and completely as a priest? How can Yakov be sure? How could that be true? Viktor thought before saying, "For His mercy endures forever." 

"The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace." 

"Thanks be to God." 

Viktor was about to leave the confessional chamber before he heard the man on the other side of the screen continued, "Vitya… You are one of the best seminarists I've ever met. It has been a pleasure to meet you, you are the kindest and most devoted person I've ever met. You know that there are more ways than being ordained to serve our God… he is understanding and always merciful, if he is leading you away from your vocation there must be a reason. The doors of this church will always be open for you, whatever your choice will be, son."

“Thank you, Father.” 

That confession was one of the most honest and life-changing confessions he has ever had. 

Viktor positioned himself at a pew to pray for his penance. His elbows leaned on the back of the pew in front of him, knees supported on the cushion below, eyes closed tightly as he focused his thoughts. Mathew 7:7 ran through his mind, Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. When he asked for a friend, he was given Yuuri. When he sought direction, their paths crossed. When he knocked on Yuuri’s door, broken, raw, and sinful, Yuuri let him in, accepting him for all his worth and loving him for it, despite the pain he caused him. 

Viktor continued his prayer, he thought about his childhood and all the other prayers he sent up to God. How he had wished and wished for Yuuri every night. How could he deny himself of a prayer so clearly answered? How could he deny that to Yuuri? He couldn't. 

He opened his eyes and his mind once clouded with doubt, worry and fear was now clear. There was no question in his mind that Yakov was right, that he needed to change direction to fulfill God’s will. Every sign he had ever received was pointing him to Yuuri. 

Viktor jumped up from the pew and sped towards the door. He was so focused on his goal of getting to Yuuri he forgot to do the sign of the cross. He needed to tell Yuuri, he knew exactly what he needed to do. 

Yuuri was still at home, he was getting ready for his day, even if he had lost almost half of it because of his worries prevented him from sleeping the night before. 

He had to have faith in God, more than he ever had before. He had to accept his will, whatever that might be, but he was still hopeful since He in his mercy knew what it was best for them and what their hearts desired.

He took his keys, bag, and a jacket for the evening and left the house, planning on going to the church to prepare his lesson plan for the following week.

When he stepped onto the curb he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sun of his skin. It was a beautiful day and he needed to be strong for his kids, he was still a teacher after all.

Viktor was making his was to Yuuri’s place, not as easy as he was before given he was in his school attire rather than running gear. On the crest of the hill just before he got to the right building he saw his beautiful best friend, his lover, standing by his car looking up at the clear sky. 

“Yuuuuuuushaaaa!” Viktor yelled, though still at a fair distance away, he knew his voice would carry. 

At the sound of his name he looked around, there was only one person in this world to call Yuuri like that and his heart sped up at the thought of him.

He saw Viktor coming towards him with a big smile on his face and hope soared through him.

He dropped everything he was holding and ran towards him.

Yuuri’s reaction to seeing him only propelled Viktor forward with more vigor. 

When Viktor’s arms wrapped around Yuuri it felt like he was coming home, not for the first time, but for the first time, he felt like he could stay. 

“Yuusha, Yuusha!” He cried. 

It had been merely a few hours but he had missed him like the first time they parted in their childhood.

"Vicchan… shouldn't you… I mean… your exam… how did it go?" He mumbled hugging his friend.

Viktor stood back, but he didn't let his arms part from Yuuri for a moment. He shrugged off the question about the exam because taking that test seemed almost like a lifetime ago at this point. 

It was truly amazing what God’s clarity could do for the mind. “I can’t Yuusha. I can’t go through with it. I am not going to be ordained. I can’t because I know what I need to do.” 

Viktor slid down to his knees, arms still clinging around Yuuri’s frame, “Yuusha, I need to marry you. Please, please let me be your husband.” 

Yuuri was in shock listening to the words of his friend and at the same time so happy and relieved that he couldn't contain some tears coming down his eyes. He let out a laugh that sounded much more like a sigh of relief and brought his hand to Viktor's head, moving the hair that was falling down his face.

"Haven't I done that once, already? My answer is still the same, you should know by now." 

He dropped to his knees and kissed his nose, cheeks, and lips sweetly. "Yes. It's always been my answer… yes."

As a man who has had countless blessings in his life, Viktor had never felt more blessed than he did right now. They may be on their knees on the sidewalk in a cheap apartment complex on the outskirts of Detroit, but he knew in the heart that they, through the guidance of their Father above, were making history. 

And now these three remain: Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.   
1 Corinthians 13:13


End file.
